A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (actually it was in the 1950s in Northern California), a young boy plays with his action figures, and his mom shouts at him to stop daydreaming before he misses the bus to filmmaker’s camp. Twenty-seven years later, George Lucas used this innocent beginning and raked in over 2 million bucks with the incredible Star Wars movie, depicting a whiny little teen accompanied by a trash can, an even more whiny robot, an old man, a rug, and an awesome pilot rescuing a princess with odd hairstyles from the evil Nazis Empire, who live in a giant moon (that’s no moon…) and is commanded by Darth Vader, who looks good in black. George realized that he could rake in even MORE money, and released a sequel. This one had the gang on an ice planet but the evil Nazis Empire chases them out, and the whiny kid goes to a swamp to get training from Kermit the Frog’s weird great-uncle that talks backwards. Then, the princess and the pilot almost get eaten by a space worm for no reason, goes to the black guy for repairs, but get kidnapped. The boy goes to rescue them but gets his hand cut off, discovering that his father is an evil robot that kicks puppies, and falls off a cliff. The final sequel involves the now frozen pilot getting kidnapped by a fat guy, but gets rescued once again by the kid, who now has a cool sword, and accidentally send a bounty hunter into the mighty Sarlacc.

Then a bunch of cute Ewoks arrive, and blah, blah, blah. The point I’m trying to make here is the prequels. There was so much hype for these movies, you could cut through the tension with a lightsaber. Oh lord, they were off by a lot. Instead of a cool lightsaber flick, we got Jar Jar Binks, the most pointless movie character since that poor nameless guy in Robocop that gets annihilated by the ED-209 (look it up on youtube, it’s too gory to show here). He turned the saga of awesomeness into a comedy for little padawans that needed to be shown ‘funny’ moments, although they were much less ‘funny’ and more ‘disgraceful’. Also, the movies were released a little too late, mostly because it acted like that one friend that accidentally ruins the movie by telling you the entire plot. Anakin, Obi-Wan, Yoda, and the Emperor are in the sequels, so there’s no real use to even see the movies, you just need a brain and common sense. In my opinion, they should have killed off Anakin in the beginning of the movie, just to screw around with the fans.